The Camera Monster

I don't know if it's just me, but I have a hard time seeing myself as big as I really am. That's not to say I see myself as skinny. On the contrary, I see myself as elephantile (I know, I made up that word) and gross. So why is my horrible view of myself not as bad as the real thing? Maybe it's my subconscious' way of protecting me from utter depression; however, I think my annoying subconscious is only saving that pain for the "Holy Cow!" moments that inevitably come when I see a picture or video of myself. We have all had them, those moments when we see a captured image of ourselves and our minds start stuttering "..how did... that can't be... do I really??..." That all-time famous quote, "the camera adds ten pounds," is absolutely hilarious! Do we really think we can trick ourselves into believing that anytime a picture or video is shot, a little green monster who lives in the camera suddenly wakes up from hibernation, all for the purpose of magicking ten, twenty, or even fifty pounds immediately onto our bodies for a fraction of a second, only to magick it back off when the picture or video is complete?? Pfft...yeah, right! I know I haven't picked up the camera in ages, but it is not actually going to retaliate by making me look fatter. The real reason is because we see ourselves every day and we get used to ignoring most of the things we don't like about ourselves. Unfortunately, the camera is not allowed to show what we want it to show. No, the camera only has one perspective: the ugly truth. Blah. Having said all that, though, I think I'll go back to believing in my little green camera monster. He's not so horrible once you get used to him... he may even turn out to be a little friendly if you're nice to him.